What to Do When You Can’t Sleep at Night

If you have been trying to sleep for about 20 minutes, get up. Keep the lights dim and do something quiet until you feel sleepy again. Watching the clock and forcing it usually makes the night longer.

Here’s exactly what to do when you can’t sleep: a calm, step-by-step plan for the next 20 minutes, what to try if you’re still awake after that, and the few things that quietly make it worse. No pressure, no gadgets just what actually helps. Techniques you can try without leaving bed are in this calmer-methods guide. If nights like this keep repeating, the insomnia explainer is the clearer next read. For a wider look at why the brain fights sleep, see this overview.

First, Take the Pressure Off

The cruelest part of sleeplessness is the spiral: you can’t sleep, so you stress about not sleeping, which keeps you awake. Breaking that loop is the first job.

Start by turning the clock away. Watching the minutes tick by (“if I fall asleep now I’ll still get five hours…“) spikes anxiety and guarantees you stay alert. And remind yourself that it’s completely normal to take 15 to 20 minutes to drift off you are not broken, and one rough night won’t ruin you. Loosening your grip on sleep is often the very thing that lets it arrive.

If You’ve Been Awake Less Than 20 Minutes: Stay in Bed

If you’ve only just settled in, stay put and give your body a gentle nudge toward sleep with one of these:

Breathe slowly

Try 4-7-8 breathing (in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8) or simple box breathing. A long, slow exhale flips your body from “alert” into “rest” mode.

Relax your muscles, head to toe

Tense each muscle group for a few seconds, then release, working from your face down to your feet. It melts physical tension and quiets the mind along the way.

Picture a calm scene

Guided imagery vividly imagining a quiet beach, a forest, a slow walk gives your racing mind somewhere peaceful to go instead of the worry channel.

Shuffle your thoughts

Picture random, unconnected images (an apple, a kite, a kettle). This “cognitive shuffle” mimics the loose, drifting thoughts your brain has as it naturally falls asleep.

Park your worries

If your mind keeps circling a problem, keep a notepad by the bed, write the thought down, and tell yourself it’ll be there in the morning. On paper, it stops demanding to be remembered.

If You’ve Been Awake More Than 20 Minutes: Get Up

This feels counterintuitive when you’re tired, but it’s one of the most effective tricks for chronic sleeplessness. If you’ve been lying there for around 20 minutes, get out of bed and leave the bedroom.

Why? Because lying awake and frustrated teaches your brain to associate your bed with stress and wakefulness. Getting up protects that bed-equals-sleep link. Keep the lights low, do something calm and a little boring, and head back to bed only when you feel genuinely sleepy.

Calm Things to Do When You Get Up

The goal is gentle and low-stimulation nothing that wakes your brain up. Good options:

Read a few pages of a dull or familiar book. Do something quietly repetitive like folding laundry, light tidying, or a simple puzzle. Sip a warm, caffeine-free drink herbal tea or warm milk. Do some slow stretching or gentle yoga. Listen to calm music, a sleep story, or a boring podcast in dim light. Journal whatever’s on your mind to get it out of your head.

Keep the lighting low and warm throughout bright light tells your brain it’s morning.

What Not to Do

A few habits quietly sabotage your chances of drifting back off:

Don’t reach for your phone the blue light and the scroll are a double hit of wakefulness. Don’t keep checking the clock. Don’t eat a big or sugary snack (a small light one is fine if you’re truly hungry). Skip caffeine and alcohol, which both wreck your sleep later. And don’t just lie there for an hour willing it to happen that’s exactly when getting up helps most.

Why This Keeps Happening

The occasional sleepless night is normal, usually triggered by stress, an irregular schedule, late caffeine, screens, or a too-warm room. If it’s happening most nights, taking more than half an hour to fall asleep regularly, or leaving you drained during the day, it’s worth talking to a doctor ongoing insomnia and conditions like sleep apnea are common and very treatable.

The Bottom Line

When you can’t sleep, the move is to relax rather than force it: take the pressure off, try a calming technique in bed, and if you’re still wide awake after 20 minutes, get up and do something soothing until sleepiness returns. Be patient and kind with yourself and most nights, sleep finds its way back.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I do if I cannot sleep?

After about 20 minutes of trying, get up, keep the lights dim, and do something quiet until you feel sleepy again.

Should I look at the clock?

No. Watching the time usually adds pressure and makes the night feel longer.

Is it OK to use my phone?

Screens and stimulating content usually make it worse. Keep the lights dim and pick something boring.

When should I see a clinician?

If this is most nights, or you gasp, snore heavily, or fall asleep without warning, that belongs with a clinician, not another routine hack.